


A Father's Love

by Ladyanaconda



Series: Tears of Despair and Joy [9]
Category: Book of Life (2014)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3775165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyanaconda/pseuds/Ladyanaconda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a frightening nightmare, Marigold is afraid that her father doesn't love her, but Xibalba reassures his love and affection for her. A bit of AU in the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Father's Love

 

_She grew in the shadows of the castle._

_She barely saw her father at all, in turn because he was the one who avoided her altogether. This had been going on ever since she was just a baby, he left her care to his servants. They were more of a family to her than he was. But to her, he was still her papi, even though even she could tell he didn’t want her around him. He ate his meals in his room or his study and spent nearly all day working. When she had a bad dream, she’d go to his room looking for his comfort only to find his door locked. The few times she managed to be in his presence, he acted cold and sometimes even harshly with her._

_Marigold sometimes wondered if her father loved her at all; she hoped he did, though her fragile little heart often told her the contrary. She had no mother; not a single memory, and she had not seen one single picture either. The day Emilio told her that her mother died at childbirth having her, she finally understood why her father disliked her so much. But he was still her papi, and she loved him._

_She thought he must love her at least a bit; after all, he gave her a room (a simple room, but a room nonetheless), food and shelter. If he didn’t want her he could have abandoned her somewhere, but he didn’t, so he must at least love her a bit. This is why she stayed in that dark realm, despite other Gods often coming down and asking her to consider coming to live to Aztlan. Her uncle Zipacna acted much more like a father than Xibalba did, and he’d try to speak sense into his brother, but it was to no avail. Lords Quetzalcóatl and Tezcatlipoca felt sorry for the poor child, knowing they could not force her to leave her father’s neglect._

_This day, Marigold wandered around the castle, after playing out in the courtyard with Emilio, Roberto and Lorenzo. However, as she was passing by her father’s room, she noticed something unusual; his door was open. She had never been inside, her father forbad her from going in one day after catching her nearly sneaking in. Was he inside? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a peek, would it? Gulping, Marigold approached the half-open door and snuck in. Her father’s chambers were grim-looking, almost like her own room, but the mirror was covered with a dark blanket, and there were frames with pictures hanging on the wall. Curious, Marigold approached the wall and glanced up at the pictures._

_All the pictures depicted her father with a beautiful woman of white skin and dark hair. He was smiling in all of them; Marigold had never seen him smile. He looked truly happy. In some pictures the woman wore a red dress and a matching, large **sombrero** adorned with candles and feathers, in others she wore a beautiful wedding dress and veil. Her father and that woman were kissing, cuddling together, holding hands or holding each other close in the pictures. _

_There was one particular picture that caught her attention; her father and the woman were sitting at the edge of a bed, the woman leaning against him, the both of them looking lovingly at a bump in her belly; Xibalba even had his hand on top of it. Marigold’s eyes widened in realization._

_That woman was her mother._

_Before she could do anything, she heard footsteps in the hall outside. Panicking at how her father would react if he found her in there, Marigold quickly found her way under his bed just as Xibalba walked into the room. Marigold could only see his cloak as he placed his snake staff aside for the moment and then sat down on the edge of his bed opposite to his door. Marigold would have to wait till he got distracted so she could sneak out without him noticing, but after a while she thought she heard a sound. Sobbing. Her father was crying?_

_“Mi Muertita…” she heard him sob with a broken voice. “Why did you have to leave me like that…?”_

_Marigold would have felt sorry for her father if she were not very nervous right now. Taking advantage of the distraction, Marigold quickly but silently turned into a blur of rose petals and snuck out of her father’s room._

_…_

_She woke up abruptly when her door slammed open and her father came in, furious. She would have tried to retreat further into bed to try and protect herself, but she was not quick enough and he grabbed her by the wings. Marigold contained the urge to cry by his grip nearly breaking her little wings; he had never been so violent with her._

_“What did I tell you about going into my chambers?!” he roared at her with sharp teeth and the fury of a demon._

_“I d-don’t know what you’re t-talking ab-bout, f-father…” Marigold stuttered in fear, but it was seemingly the wrong answer, for Xibalba threw her against the floor violently._

_“You don’t?” he hissed, before holding out a small dark feather with golden tip. “Then where did this come from?” he threw it to the ground._

_“I’m sorry, father!” the poor child tried to crawl away from him, but Xibalba grabbed her by the wings once more and threw her against the floor yet again. Marigold swore she felt a few of her little bones break._

_“I’ll teach you to be sorry, girl!” He approached her with unsheathed claws._

_“P-papi! Please don’t hurt me!” Marigold cried, staring up at her father with tears streaming down her face. “Don’t hurt me…!”_

_She thought she heard someone calling her name._

_“ **Marigold…** ”_

* * *

“MARIGOLD!”

“DON’T HURT ME!”

“WAKE UP, IT’S ME!”

Marigold woke up with a start, her little heart drumming inside her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was back in her room, and she found her father’s worried expression staring down at her, contrasting the look of anger and hate she had seen in her nightmare.

“Marigold, are you okay?!” Xibalba asked his daughter worriedly, holding her by the shoulders tightly. He had been in his study doing paperwork when suddenly he heard Marigold screaming and crying; he immediately went to her room and found no physical danger, she was having a nightmare. Marigold pulled back from his hold and looked up at him with terrified eyes. “What’s wrong, _mi florecita_?”

Finally, Marigold could take it no longer and threw herself into her father’s arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest, bawling uncontrollably. Xibalba returned the embrace and stroked her head gently. Marigold snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“There, there, it’s okay.” The dark god cooed. “Papi’s here.”

“I’m scared, papi.”

“You had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

Marigold nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She wanted to shake her head, but she spoke. “You didn’t want me.”

Xibalba felt his heart twisting inside his chest.

“You hated me because you thought I killed mami, and you were going to hurt me…”

“Shhhh. It was just a nightmare, nothing more.”

When Marigold didn’t calm down, Xibalba cuddled her in his arms and wrapped a blanket around her little body, and swaddled her like when she was a baby. Then he started rocking her back and forth in his arms, cooing at her and stroking her head gently.

“Do you love me, papi?” Marigold finally said, sniffling.

Xibalba looked down at her with wide eyes. “Why do you say that, Marigold?”

“Mami died because of me…”

“No, no, don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth, if I hadn’t been born she’d still be here.”

“And I wouldn’t have you. What happened was an accident…”

“You said didn’t want me.”

His heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean? I’ve never said such a thing, my sweet.”

“You were crying over mami, and you told auntie Carmen you didn’t want me.”

Xibalba didn’t know what to say to that; she remembered it? He once heard the dream gods say that everyone can remember something from their infancy through dreams, but he hadn’t believed it until now. He forgot she had been there when he was sore and blinded by his own pain, and he had practically disowned her as his child for something that wasn’t her fault. Even to this day those words still haunted him and made him feel guilty. He sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding his daughter in his arms.

“I…” he tried to think of something to tell her, but he was at loss.

Marigold started to cry again. “See? You don’t want me!”

“No, no, no! I do love you, Marigold! But I was-“

“You hate me!”

“Marigold!” Xibalba snapped at her, his eyes swelling up with tears as well as he tightened his grip on Marigold’s little body. “Don’t ever say that again! If I hadn’t wanted you I could have abandoned you somewhere to fend for yourself, but I did not! You know why? Because I loved you! I still do! I won’t deny it, I did say those horrible things but I was angry and sad over your mother’s passing! There’s not a single day that I don’t regret having spoken those words!” His voice softened, by then he was crying too. “When I held you in my arms for the first time I realized that I couldn’t hate you, even if I wanted to; you were a little piece of me, a little piece of _her_. I wanted to hold you close to me and never let you go.” Xibalba wiped his daughter’s tears with his thumb and held her against his chest. “The more time I spent with you, the more I grew attached to you, _mi florecita_ … Everytime I lulled you in my arms, everytime I changed your diapers, every single moment with you made me feel whole again. So don’t ever doubt about my love for you, okay?”

Marigold managed to smile at her father a bit. “Okay.” She thought for a moment. “Did mami love me?”

“More than her very life, she was willing to give up her life for you. When we learned she was pregnant she was very excited….” Xibalba chuckled. “So much she even started buying you little clothes and toys, and she even knitted a few shoes for you. The funniest thing about it was that all the things she bought were pink; I thought it wasn’t a good idea because I thought you could be a boy, but your mother was certain you’d be a girl.” And he was glad she had been right.

The little goddess couldn’t help but giggle a bit, and snuggled deeply into her father’s embrace. Xibalba shifted the blanket wrapped around her to keep her warm; he was about to lay her down on bed when she grabbed unto his hand. “Don’t go, papi…” she sobbed.

“I won’t, _mi florecita_ , I promise.” The dark god thought for a moment. “Would you like to sleep in my room?” He took her snuggling into his warmth as a positive reply. Standing up carefully, Xibalba cradled Marigold in his arms and walked out of her room, then silently headed to his. Once inside, he closed the door behind him and glided towards his rocking chair; when he sat down, he noticed Marigold was falling asleep. Xibalba smiled and stroked her head gently, recalling when she was a newborn and he’d hold her like this. Marigold looked up at her father with sleepy eyes.

“Would you sing me a lullaby, papi?”

“Of course, _mi pequeña_.” He shifted her in his arms before starting to sing, stroking Marigold’s cheek tenderly and swaying the rocking chair with his wings.

**_Duérmete mi niña, duérmete mi amor_ **

**_Duérmete pedazo de mi corazón_ **

**_Esta niña mía que nació de noche_ **

**_Quiere que la lleve a pasear en coche_ **

**_Esta niña mía que nació de día_ **

**_Quiere que la lleve a la dulcería_ **

**_Duérmete mi niña, duérmete mi amor_ **

**_Duérmete pedazo de mi corazón_ **

When he was done, he looked down at Marigold and saw she had already fallen asleep. Smiling, he stood up from the rocking chair and went to his bed, where he lay Marigold down and tucked her in warmly before sitting down next to her. As he watched her sleep, he recalled the first night he started bonding with her as if it were yesterday…

_A few hours ago, he didn’t even want to be in the same room as her. And now, he didn’t want to remove his gaze off her. As he watched her sleep peacefully in her bassinet, shifting every now and then, Xibalba gently swayed the cradle and cooed at his daughter when it seemed she was going to wake up; she was so tiny... so fragile… Suddenly, Marigold’s little face crunched up and she started to sob._

_“Sh-sh-sh.” The dark cooed and swayed the cradle once again, but this time she started to cry and kick violently. Sighing, Xibalba gently picked her up, and as soon as he did Marigold calmed down and stopped crying; she just wanted him to hold her. Xibalba sat down on his rocking chair and swayed it with his wings, stroking his baby’s little head with his thumb tenderly as he watched her sleep again. Tentatively, he bent down his neck and planted a kiss on Marigold’s cheek; unfortunately, this show of affection caused her to stir awake as she opened her eyes slightly and her red pupils set on him once more. Marigold stared at her father curiously, though her sight was just starting to develop and she could barely see beyond his face when he held her; but even so, his face was more fascinating to her than any toy would ever be. She let him know by touching it, her little fingers exploring his face and her tiny digits gripping on his moustache curiously, wondering why it was so soft and ticklish. Xibalba didn’t like anyone touching his moustache, but he didn’t mind it this time because it was her._

_When Marigold’s fingers started fidgeting with his upper lip, Xibalba started to nibble on them playfully, making her laugh and kick. When he released them, he started examining his baby in wonder. She was truly identical to her mother, with a mix of his traits as well. Wanting to take a small look at her wings, Xibalba unwrapped a part of the blanket off her and watched as a small, feathered wing emerged; unlike his, his daughter’s feathers were smooth and shiny, and tipped with a bit of gold. The dark god then noticed the umbilical stump on Marigold’s belly; the cord was withering, and he supposed it would drop off soon. Marigold started cooing and gurgling, protesting from the cold air._

_“Shhh, it’s okay, **pequeña**.” He whispered, wrapping her little blanket around her once more. “Papá is here, and I’m not going anywhere anymore, my sweet little child. I promise.” Xibalba couldn’t help but smile a bit when Marigold ‘replied’ by pressing her hands against his chest; he started playing with her fingers or tickling her nose while talking sweetly to her, warm fuzzy feelings swirling inside his chest everytime she smiled._

_He had a lot to catch up with her._

Xibalba kissed his daughter’s head tenderly, then stroked her hair as if he were touching a fragile flower. To him, she was. She was his whole world, his everything. The dark god lied down next to Marigold and pulled close in an embrace, letting her know that he was there for her both in her dreams and the waking world. Marigold smiled slightly in her sleep, making her father smile too, making him wonder what she was dreaming about now.

* * *

 

_Something was different. She used to sleep in an enclosed space that wouldn’t let her see the sides, only upwards. Now she slept in a more open space, with bars at the sides that let her see a bit more around her, and the small and colorful animal plushies hanging from a pole just above her head, on her range of sight. At first she didn’t like it, she wanted her cradle back, but a few days later she warmed up to this new thing… crib, she heard her papi say…_

_She giggled and reached out for the hanging mini-carousel of plushies above her head, particularly for the lavender snake, kicking and gurgling in delight; a few minutes later a familiar shape came closer and peeked into the crib, staring down at her with a smile. She immediately held out her arms up to her papi and waved her hands, giggling._

_“How’s my little bundle of joy doing?” papi chimed as he bent down by the waist and picked her up, holding her up in the air. “Did you have a good nap, **mi florecita**?” _

_She giggled and flapped her little wings as suddenly papi brought her close to his face and peppered her cheeks with butterfly kisses, she gripped unto his moustaches and tugged them playfully. Papi chuckled and played with her fingers, bouncing her in his arms._

_“What do you want to do today?” he asked her, though he didn’t really expect her to respond. “We could start the day with some tasty breakfast and then we could go for a stroll, you and I, how does that sound?”_

_She simply clapped her hands, and smiled at him._

_“Okay, my sweet, I’ll tell the servants to prepare something special for you.” Papi carried her out of the room, still holding her close to his chest. “Then we’ll go… do you want to go to one of Aztlan’s gardens? They’re very beautiful, your mami loved them.”_

_She snuggled into his embrace, she didn’t mind where he took her, as long as he was with her she would be happy._

**Always _._**


End file.
